it ain’t easy, but it’s worth it.

quote

Good morning all!

Sooo happy today is Friday! Finally some time to sleep in, read, have coffee while watching the morning news (or if it’s Sunday then watching SNL from the night before!!), go out to breakfast, clean, do laundry,  take afternoon naps, watch hockey, cook yummy food, go hiking, shop!, restock my groceries, do yoga…yada yada yada I could keep going but these seem to be my favorite weekend things to do!

This weekend my sister and I have plans to go for a hike in Laguna Beach, so that should be fun! Hopefully we stick to it, because sometimes we can be lame and decide to stay in our pj’s all day rather than embark on the adventure we had planned! haha but we will see!

Anyways, lets start with last night…check out how nice it was out yesterday!

road pic

This was on my drive home from work…everything just looked so clear and pretty! Plus my favorite time of day is in the late evening like from 4-7 during spring/summer, when the sun starts going down and there is a nice warm breeze and everything just feels calm and serene out! It literally is the best time to go for a swim or take a walk or sit on the porch and enjoy the warm weather and last bit of daylight. Gah, I am so excited for summer to get here!!!

Last night I went to dinner with a friend at a nice restaurant right on the marina. We went right as the sun was setting and we could look our from our table to see the water, boats, and sunset, which made for quite a nice atmosphere! Dinner was a goat cheese & beet salad, fried brie appetizer, and 3 mini sliders (1 short rib, 1 kobe beef, 1 pulled pork, all delicious!).

week 3 thursday dinner

Here is the only pic I remembered to snap…and it’s kind of wimpy since the sliders are pretty much devoured at this point haha but I can assure everything tasted wonderful!

This morning I was able to get up early and attend spin class like I did last week! Once again I got such a great workout and it really helped loosen up my still sore legs (darn you squats!).

week 3 friday spin class

 

Finally, breakfast this morning was a veggie juice to start with again…

week 3 friday juice

I felt like such a little health nut getting my fresh veggie juice after spin class haha look at me go!

When I got home after the gym I had a banana w/small scoop of sunbutter and some vanilla soy milk. Then, at work I had a cereal mix of Special K Vanilla Almond, topped with blackberries/raw cashews/& vanilla soy milk..yum!

week 3 friday breakfast close up

So far it has been a good day and I have been in a very good mood! While I was sitting in spin this morning I just had this moment where I realized how far I have come in my eating disorder recovery and how much better off I am now than I was a year ago!

It is crazy how much things can change if you commit yourself to something. And most of the time the hardest part are the first few days of changing your habits & behaviors. I remember feeling so uncomfortable at first when I started to eat normally and healthfully. However, I eventually came to find that I enjoyed living a healthy lifestyle and now I cannot imagine living any other way!

Hopefully for anyone out there struggling with self-confidence, or an eating disorder, or overeating, or any hard time really I hope you remember that you have the strength to overcome anything. All you have to do is reach inside yourself and find something that will make it worth while for you to make it to a better place. For me it really came down to the fact that I really want to have kids some day and I knew that if I continued to starve myself or purge anything I ate, I would never be able to have a family! For me that was all I needed to make a huge change in my life.

I started reading every book I had on recovery and looked to some of the coping methods I had learned while in an intensive eating disorder recovery program and I began to actually listen to what all of the therapists, doctors, and recovered e.d. sufferers were saying! I am not saying it was easy, but I am saying that I am so much happier now that I ever thought was possible. I feel strong and healthy and happy to be alive, and I hope to share my story and my strength with others who may be suffering and need a person to believe in them.

So, anyone out there if you need someone to listen to you or support you or give you any advice at all…I am here and willing to help!

🙂

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Staying On Track the Healthy Way

motivational quote

Hey everybody! So, today has been a good day so far and I wanted to write a little about my journey trying to regain my identity during my recovery from my eating disorder. But first let me fill you in on my workout/dinner/& breakfast!

Workout last night went better than expected! I was feeling kind of crumby as I posted yesterday, but then I had a bagel think & cream cheese, lots of water, and got ready for a hard workout! When I got to the gym I was able to do my 50 min. workout, even going harder than I had planned at some points! I also did my ab routine and saved the squats for today because I was getting tired at that point. I typically get bored at the gym after like an hour, but can make myself stay for like an hour and fifteen or twenty minutes but that’s tops!

week 3 monday workout

After the gym I showered and then prepared myself a super yummy quinoa caprese bowl! I basically took some leftover cooked quinoa and added in fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, basil, and balsamic, mixing everything together for a super yummy dish!

I also snacked on some dark chocolate covered power berries from Trader Joes and some peanut butter/berries while preparing my lunch for today!

Breakfast this morning was a Special K Yogurt Parfait…

week 3 tuesday breakfast

Which was a contained of Trader Joe’s Mango flavored greek yogurt, topped with a scoop of Fage 0% Plain greek yogurt, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and some Vanilla Almond Special K cereal for some crunch! I have been trying to branch out and try some different breakfast options, because for the past few weeks I have been all about overnight oats!! haha anyways tomorrow I am thinking of trying out a bagel or oatmeal, so we will see if I can come up with a new fave breakfast option! If anyone has suggestions that are portable or easy to make using just a microwave and/or a toaster oven..let me know!!

Snack this morning was a banana, chocolate chip chewy bar, and vitamin water zero…just in case you were curious as to what my snacks are at work haha

Ok, now to the meat of this post…identity and how to be yourself in a world so full of judgment!

For me, during my years with an eating disorder I became a weird and different version of myself. Since I was consistently isolating myself, lying, and hiding away, I lost all sense of the person I was and the person I wanted to be. I let go of all of my morals and everything that was important to me. I was lying to my friends and family, so therefore they learned to not trust me and eventually even they did not care to be around me. I was hurting myself and then lying to make it seem like things were better than they really were. In all honesty I have never been more fragile, afraid, lonely, and confused as I was during those years.

However, as I have progressed in my recovery I have become more comfortable with the person that I am! I feel like I now know more about my positive and negative character traits and have tried to work on my negative ones to make myself a better person all around. I know I can be impatient, judgmental, a control freak, and sometimes insecure, but the more I try to stay aware of those characteristics, the more likely I am to catch myself when I start to display them.

I now try to be myself and have learnt that if others don’t like who I am, then tough luck for them! I am now more selective about who I am friends with because I have realized that there are only a few people who will really be there for me when the goings get tough! And I would way rather surround myself with people who make me feel good about myself, rather than have tons of people who don’t give a crap about me!

I have come to see that I want to be a person who lives a healthy life and is responsible and fun to be around. I try to help out others as much as I can and do kind things for no reason or without being asked. I try to keep a positive outlook on life and realize that no matter what happens there is always another day and another way to make things better!

If anyone is struggling with finding their identity or want to better themselves I would suggest making a list of qualities you admire in other people and then using that as a guide for yourself. But also remember that you are who you are and sometimes you have to find ways to make your personality work for you. Never be afraid to be who you are because the people who don’t like you are better off not in your life anyways!!

In conclusion, take a second to think about this quote…it really helps me in times when I am feeling down…

Pinned Image

Enjoy and I will be back later with lunch and today’s workout agenda 🙂

Weekend Recap!

dinner friday week 1

Dinner Friday night was absolutely amazeballs! I used 1 pan and 1 tbsp. coconut oil to sauté about 1/2 cup sweet potato (I bought them frozen/already diced up & simply zapped them in the microwave for a minute before adding to pan), 1/4 cup squash (again i bought precut), 1/3 cup black beans, 1 cup spinach, & 1 tsp. minced garlic… Once everything was all cooked up, I put it all in a bowl and topped it with cilantro/mango salsa/& guac!!! This was seriously so bomb I think I may have to have it again for dinner tonight!

Dinner was then followed with a yummy homemade dessert…dessert friday week 1

My sister and I bought premade cookie dough and baked it in these little ovensafe dishes..then we topped it with some slow churned cookie dough ice cream and split 2 of them 3 ways! I was stuffed by the end of the night, but it was seriously worth it!

Next up is breakfast Saturday morning…typically I end up going to the gym at around 10:30 or 11 on Saturday mornings, so i always have a little breakfast before I go just to tide me over! This weekend I made a yogurt parfait w/ Greek Yogurt, Peanut Butter Granola, & Blueberries…I also enjoyed a nice cup of Caramel Coffee and a banana on the side…

breakfast saturday week 1

After the gym my mom and I went to lunch and i got a veggie sandwich on whole wheat bread and we hit the grocery store where I picked up these items…

groceries week 2

yogurt, bananas, apples, berries, sunbutter, bread, vanilla soy milk, salad, beans, & luna bars..I still had some nuts/veggies/rolled oats/ & meat from last week so my load wasn’t too big this week!

On Sunday I had the MOST AMAZING french toast ever!!! It was a baguette filled with mascarpone cheese, and topped with berries & whipped cream…seriously one of the best things I have ever eaten and unfortunately I practically inhaled it so I didn’t get any pics!!!

Well, that concludes my weekend eats….kind of went overboard with the snacking and sweets, so it is time to hunker down this week and get back on my schedule! I will post later about today and include some workouts..adios!!

early 2000’s music= the best!!

So, my best friend is a girl who I have literally known since I was 5 years old!!! We went from kinder to 8th grade together and then separate high schools and colleges, but we always managed to stay in touch! Then, when we moved home from college we started hanging out all the time and our friendship is so solid because we have literally seen each other grow up aka know all of each other’s best and worst qualities!! Anywhoooo, our other friend who we also have known since kinder is busier because she is still in school and works nights (the time we both have off) so we don’t see her as much, but when the 3 of us get together it is always SO much fun! It seriously is like we are sisters and we usually end up reminiscing and laughing for hours!!

So last night the 3 of us ended up doing a Yogurtland run and then sat in the car just to talk and catch up while we ate! I was driving and being the weirdo that I am, I had recently made a playlist comprised entirely of hits from the early 2000s. I’m talkin’ Petey Pablo, Kevin Lyttle, Ying Yang Twins, Chinggy….oh ya I pulled out the good stufff!!!! And I also titled the playlist “New Shiz,” which I think just adds to the epicness of the whole thing. Anyways, I turned on Freak-A-Leek and it was like the 3 of us were transported back to 7th grade! It was hilarious because we still knew all the lyrics to all these songs and died laughing about how we would stay up all night watching MTV Hits back in tha day!! Such a good night/moment and made me so happy to know I have friends who I have literally known my entire life!!! Who woulda thought a playlist with a SUPER corny name could bring back such good memories 🙂

Anyways, on to breakfast this super sunny Friday morning…

breakfast day 4

Alright I was out of rolled oats last night and knew that I wanted something similar for breakfast, so I did a version basically with more chia seeds and less oats….I was a little skeptical but this morning they tasted delicious and were a great offshoot to the traditional overnight oats!

Chocolate/Peanut Butter/Nutella Chia Seed Pudding

Ingredients:

1/2 c. chia seeds

1 6 oz. container Brown Cow Cream Top Vanilla Yogurt

1/4 cup Vanilla Soy Milk

1 tbsp. cocoa powder (I used Nestle)

1 scoop Nutella

1 scoop Skippy Creamy PB

Mix up, let sit overnight, in morning add a dash more milk and top with bananas, blueberries…or whatever else you have or are feeling in the mood for!!!